Thoughts for Father’s Day – by Eds Chesters, Registered Osteopath

Thoughts for Father's Day
Thought for Father’s Day 2016

On Father’s Day…

On Father’s day 2016 I am likely to be at the kitchen table tutoring the children.  In fact most of my spare time recently has been spent revising for science and maths exams with my teenagers. With my daughter, this means appealing to her zany side, by putting on ridiculous Geordie or Aussie accents to make revision sessions interesting.  I go into way too much detail about homeostasis of biological systems, and she glazes over. My son, on the other hand, enthuses about black holes, multiverse, and superconductors.  I struggle to steer him back to the curriculum of pulleys and particles. I have a real love for maths and problem solving, which I’m happy to say has been passed on to 50% of my offspring.  It must be a Mendelian recessive genotype.

Football

My other preoccupation is the forthcoming European Championships (definition – a quad-annual football tournament that Germany is expected to win).  I am ever hopeful of glory and will be cheering on our boys at every opportunity.

A Father’s Legacy

So with these thoughts percolating in my mind, I thought I might attempt to pull these themes together, and produce a pseudo-science equation to quantify the health benefits of watching pan-euro footy tournaments. Pseudo-science equations are hip at the moment, with all the Brexonomics bunkum coming out, so my question is:

Is spectatorship of soccer tournaments calorie neutral?  

Firstly in the calorie input side of the equation, 2 beers (one each half), and a pie at half time.

Total calorie input = 2B + P

On the output side of the equation is the increased basal metabolic rate (BMR) for 90 mins and jumping out of your chair for missed shots (S). Assuming we score a goal (G), I’m allowing a calorie burn of 30 for jumping around awkwardly with everyone else in the pub until you all realise how silly you look.

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